My doctor recently told me to avoid foods with gluten, which isn’t a big deal for me. Unfortunately, he also said to stop eating soy replacement foods, which was pretty devastating to me, the hardcore vegetarian. And on top of that, I’m not one of those vegetarians who loves beans and vegetables. Nope. I love(d) Morningstar Farms fake chicken and bacon. But my health comes first, so in the spirit of doctor’s orders, I’ve said farewell to soy, wheat, barley, oats, and spelt. (Well, not spelt so much. Can you say goodbye to a food you’ve never eaten?) I also am apparently a little low on protein and iron, so in desperation, I’ve begun experimenting with power-packed grains. Quinoa is pretty much at the top of the list. Revered by the ancient Mesoamericans, it’s one of the few grains (technically, it’s not actually a grain, but whatever) that is a complete protein, so it doesn’t have to be paired with beans to give me maximum benefits.

As someone who doesn’t cook, I was a little daunted to just buy some bulk quinoa and start from scratch. So luckily, I found this French Herb blend from Seeds of Change. It’s comprised of quite a few organic ingredients, and although it’s a bit high in sodium, I can usually stretch out the package to last 3 or 4 days. It’s pretty delicious, with the unexpected side benefit of having all the same spices as the gumbo I used to love. When I was a kid, my Dad made a killer chicken and sausage gumbo, but I had to give it up when I went veggie. Now I get a bunch of the same flavor notes in a super grain. Not too shabby.

I said I wanted to learn to cook, right? What better motivation could I need?

So, I just read a pretty fascinating book called Gluten-Free Girl by Shauna James Ahern. In this memoir-cum-cookbook, Ahern chronicles her food habits as a child, her chronic illnesses, and finally her diagnosis of celiac disease, which renders her unable to eat foods that contain gluten (typically wheat, barley, rye and spelt). Rather than adopting a poor-me attitude, Ahern embraced her diagnosis and began a journey of discovery. Armed with a well-stocked kitchen, unusual ingredients, and a healthy zeal for eating, Ahern began creating sumptuous gluten-free recipes, such as Chilled Millet Salad with Jicama and Mango and Roasted Cauliflower with Smoked Paprika and Cocoa Powder.

Okay, I know you’re wondering. Why do I, someone who wholly detests cooking, find this book interesting? Well, actually there are a couple of reasons. One is that my holistic doctor told me to stop eating gluten. While I certainly don’t have full-blown celiac disease, I am apparently gluten sensitive, or intolerant, or something. Two, Ahern talks again and again about healing herself with food, a concept I’m coming to understand more and more. As a vegetarian and lifelong picky eater, I’ve always seen eating as a chore: something that has to be done to stay alive. I’ve never relished it as the pleasurable experience that so many people seem to do.

Also, I’ve been feeling like crap for years. Literally. Years. I’m exhausted, run-down and feel malnourished, even though I’ve always thought that I followed a reasonably healthy diet. And, whereas I’ve never gotten that much joy from eating, I do love to read. And Ahern painted sumptuous pictures in my head of delicious, beautiful meals. So, I think I’m going to try to learn to cook. I want to take the time to create art out of whole, healthy foods to heal my body and restore its proper nutrient balance. I want to look at eating as a joy, rather than something I dread…

For the past few months, people have been telling me to read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love. Like, literally once a month someone would recommend it to me. So I finally bit the bullet and put my name on the waiting list. I got my copy a few days ago, and I have to admit that so far I’m really enjoying it. A lot of her experiences speak to me, since she studied at an ashram (which I would like to do) and traveled to Bali, which I am doing next month! I’m only about halfway through, but so far there have been two passages that really caught my attention.

• What was the root of all this despair? Was it psychological? (Mom and Dad’s fault?) Was it just temporal, a “bad time” in my life? (When the divorce ends, will the depression end with it?) Was it genetic? (Melancholy, called by many names, has run through my family for generations, along with its sad bride, Alcoholism.) Was it cultural? (Is this just the fallout of a postfeminist American career girl trying to find balance in an increasingly stressful and alienating urban world?) Was it astrological? (Am I so sad because I’m a thin-skinned Cancer whose major signs are all ruled by unstable Gemini?) Was it artistic? (Don’t creative people always suffer from depression because we’re so supersensitive and special?) Was it evolutionary? (Do I carry in me the residual panic that comes after millennia of my species’ attempting to survive a brutal world?) Was it karmic? (Are all these spasms of grief just the consequences of bad behavior in previous lifetimes, the last obstacles before liberation?) Was it hormonal? Dietary? Philosophical? Seasonal? Environmental? Was I tapping into a universal yearning for God? Did I have a chemical imbalance? Or did I just need to get laid?

• For instance, when I told a friend back in New York City that I was going to India to live in an Ashram and search for divinity, he sighed and said, “Oh there’s a part of me that so wishes I wanted to do that…but I really have no desire for it whatsoever.”

These passages struck me because they represent what I’ve been struggling with lately. What is the root of my melancholy? And why am I so disinterested in everything lately? I’m not sure of the answers, so in addition to my amazing upcoming vacation (along with Bali, I’m also going to Singapore to see my family) I have also embarked on a new health journey with a holistic doctor. It’s not easy; I’m taking vast quantities of supplements, some of which are NOT vegetarian friendly, which is freaking me out, but after years of feeling depressed and icky, I feel that this is something I need to do. I can’t wait to see how the book ends; maybe the answers that Gilbert found will help me too.

I enjoy the web comic xkcd. I don’t always understand it, since it frequently deals with coding and complex math, but I generally get a kick out of it (enough that I bought my husband an xkcd shirt for his last birthday). Anyway, there was a recent strip about fruit that I thought was hilarious. I totally agree: grapefruit tastes terrible and is a pain to peel and separate. But that got me thinking. What are my favorite fruits and veggies? So Lindsay and I decided to each post a list of our 10 favorite fruits and 10 favorite vegetables. Here are mine, though they are not ranked in any particular order.

I also love juiced Ginger root. And most definitely hate olives. Always have.

My mom called me a couple days ago to tell me she dropped her grapefruit at work. It ended up rolling under a bus. Awesome. Right where grapefruit belongs.