It was a rainy Sunday morning, and we wanted out of the house, so we did what any couple would do. We went to Big Lots. We have always had an affinity for this low-rent store; you never know what you’ll find. Sometimes it’s garden tools, sometimes it’s a free hot dog. But today, I found the most amazing thing yet.

While tracking down my honey (I knew he’d be in the chip aisle) I wandered through Big Lots’ “spice” section. They had normal things, like salt, weirder things, like French Fry Seasoning, and the weirdest of all…May I present “Flavor Enhancer.” What does it enhance, you ask? Everything! Fish! Chips! Macaroni! Cookies! What does it taste like? Well…apparently, MSG. Yes, the lone ingredient in the Flavor Enhancer is monosodium glutamate. I bet the 1974 Weight Watchers Folks are drooling over this stuff. Yuck.